The Joy of Cereal



One of the greatest sensory pleasures of my life is a nice bowl of Raisin Bran right after Mass in the morning.  I am a whole milk man, though I can live with any kind of milk, provided it is very cold.  If there is no milk in the fridge, I have even been known to mix half-and-half with cold water in a glass and stir it to produce ersatz milk.


Whole milk is thoroughly to be preferred, however.  The world can be divided between the milk tribes.  The skim-milk tribe will disdain forever the milkshakes consumed by the whole-milk tribe.  We whole-milkers will always be disgusted by the white water of the skimmies.  The 2% people are wishy-washy.  (We all know they really want to drink whole.)  Don’t even talk to me about 1%.


The all-important thing about a bowl of cereal is timing and technique.  The milk must be poured in at the right moment, not a second before it is time to sit down.  Now the clock is ticking….No need to panic, but any interruption or delay could be disastrous.


Tamp the flakes down with the back of the spoon.  Getting them moist will take a few ticks of the clock.  Do not rush in.  As we noted, timing is everything; patience is necessary.  This is not shoveling dry flakes into your tender mouth—it would be better to eat sand or rocks.  Cereal is not trail mix.  It is a delicious cold bowl of heaven, with just enough sugar on the raisins to sweeten the milk a little bit.


But do not delay too much!  Sogginess can zoom in like a Luftwaffe jet buzzing a Polish town.  When the tamping makes the gentle sound of metal on moist flake, commence eating.  Brook no interruptions!!  Ignore the telephone or the doorbell; don’t get too engulfed in the newspaper.  If an article proves overly interesting, it is best to turn the page and move on—too much distraction will lead to irreparable soggification of the flakes!  Better to come back to fascinating articles later.  Right now it is time for pure cold cereal joy.


One thought on “The Joy of Cereal

  1. This is so funny, but how did you create the image of the cereal bowl cut-away? You are a priest of many talents, Fr. White!

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