The Synod of Tweets

Whenever an October Synod of Bishops meets, I try to pay even more attention than usual to the MLB playoffs.

Leo made a great Gatsby

I’m for the Mets, since their home field sits right where the Eckleburg sign once glowered over the Long-Island highway, in F. Scott Fitzgerarld’s imagination.

Anyway…Ever visited Rome? To visit the churches of Rome means entering into a living memory that extends back two millennia.

I think we can justifiably say that the most memorable thing that has happened in Rome so far in the 21st century was the funeral of St. John Paul II. In the 20th century, Vatican II. On second thought, Pope Pius XII rushing across town to comfort the people in the bombed neighborhoods during WWII–pretty memorable also.

The nineteenth century saw the burning and reconstruction of the Basilica over St. Paul’s tomb. The sixteenth: St. Ignatius Loyola, Michelangelo. Before that, the return of the papacy to Rome and the Lateran Councils. Going back even further: the papacies of Gregory and Leo the Greats. And, even further back, the martyrdoms of Sts. Peter and Paul, and countless other heroes who died at the hands of merciless pagans.

The authority of the Roman pontiff comes from God Himself, in the Person of Christ, establishing the office. For most of the history of the Apostolic See, that authority has been exercised primarily by settling disputed cases and questions.

A visitor to the Vatican Museums can admire paintings of some of the great gatherings of bishops that have left their mark on posterity–by clarifying things: the Council at Nicaea, the Council at Ephesus, and at Trent.

During the fifty years since Pope Paul VI erected the current Synod-of-Bishops routine, the Synod has met many times. One of those meetings involved a discussion which led to a thoroughly memorable enterprise: the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

The 2015 Synod of Tweets? History will be the judge. My money is on the World Series this year being considerably more memorable.

…Supposedly, one Synod bishop said that, in our contemporary world, two perennial pastoral axioms no longer apply. If that were really true, I would find myself quite at a loss. Because they are two of the basic rules I try to live by:

1. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

2. A priest should be a lion in the pulpit and a lamb in the confessional.

Heaven

Anyone spend time meditating on Revelation 21 lately? And why not?

—

Easter season. Things we believe in. So far we have considered the following:

We believe in one thing, namely ______. God.

Two fundamental mysteries of faith: __________ and _______________. Trinity, Incarnation.

The articles we believe, spelled-out in the __________. Creed (not the band).

We see, hear, smell, taste, touch the external, material elements of the sacraments; we believe they give us invisible ________. Grace.

Ok. The next topic regarding our faith, appropriate for the Easter season: The triune God brought about the Incarnation, accomplished everything summarized in the Creed, and gives us grace in the sacraments, all for one ultimate reason: So that we can get to ______________.

Calm?

I have faults too numerous even to reckon.

That said, I generally have it in me to maintain a placid disposition.

Boring, pedantic, obtuse, insensitive…Yes, all these and more. But people count on me to remain calm. I do not agitate easily. I am a steady man. Not perturbed. Cool, calm, collected.

EXCEPT WHEN THE ORIOLES AND THE NATS BOTH GO TO GAME FIVE ON THE SAME DAY!!!

And the whole MARC-train World Series dream hangs in the balance of a single October evening.

Come on, Fates! O, wheel-spinning Fortuna, can you be serious? How in the world is anyone supposed to concentrate today?

Wait a Minute: Brewers Edition

When former-Washington National Nyjer Morgan hit the “walk-off” game-winner on Friday night, sending the Milwaukee Brewers to what they now call the NLCS, a sleeping dog awoke in my mind…

N.L.C.S.…I may not know the science of rockets, but I wholeheartedly believe that this acronym refers to what we used to call the National League Pennant series.

Now, in order for the Milwaukee Brewers to square-off against the venerable St. Louis Cardinals for the National League pennant–all joking aside–it would seem to be necessary for the Brewers actually to belong to the National League.

BUT, my dear friends, the Milwaukee Brewers played the Cardinals in the 1982 World Series. If you are from another country, allow me to explain: The World Series pits the winners of the respective pennants–one from the American Leauge, one from the National League–against each other in a seven-game series. In 1982, by a fluke, the New York Yankees did not appear in the World Series.

So I found myself utterly confused. What in the world is going on here?

Guess what? The Milwaukee Brewers transferred to the National League some fourteen years ago!

I did not know that you could, so to speak, do that. But, apparently, when a) major-league baseball decides to add teams in states with lots of retirees, and b) a year passes with no World Series, owing to a strike, then circumstances ripen, and the Milwaukee Brewers acquire just such a changeling aptitude.

Gosh. Under what rock have I been living?

Disputable Articles

Look, I was AIMING for that camera!

The big ecclesiastical news of the past month is that Pope Benedict intends to make it easy for Anglicans to come into full communion with the Church.

Entire Anglican parishes–even dioceses–will be able to unite fully with the Pope while retaining some distinctive Anglican practices.

Which brings us to the Book of Common Prayer, the Anglican liturgical prayerbook.

This book was a companion of mine for years, before my reception into the R.C. Church in 1993.

The Book of Common Prayer book was originally published by the Protestant bishops in England in 1549. It has undergone a number of revisions. Different Anglicans use different editions.

The Preface to the edition published by the Episcopal bishops in the new United States in 1789 concludes with an exhortation about the use of the prayerbook:

It is hoped that [this book] will be received and examined by every true member of our Church, and every sincere Christian, with a meek, candid, and charitable frame of mind; without prejudice or prepossessions; seriously considering what Christianity is, and what the truths of the Gospel are; and earnestly beseeching Almighty God to accompany with his blessing every endeavor for promulgating them to mankind in the clearest, plainest, most affecting and majestic manner, for the sake of Jesus Christ, our blessed Lord and Savior.

Granted, this is a thoroughly edifying sentence. But the book contains errors.

The book features only two of the seven sacraments. The prayers in this book do not honor the Blessed Virgin or any of the saints, and the rules prohibit praying for the souls in Purgatory.

The book does not include prayers for the Pope.

The book systematically refuses to express that the Holy Mass is the sacrifice of Christ and that He is truly present–Body, Blood, soul, and divinity–in the Blessed Sacrament of the altar. The book requires that the chalice be offered to the people.

The Church embraces many styles of ceremony for the celebration of Her faith. But there is only ONE faith, the Catholic faith.

St. Augustine

The faith is expressed in the teaching of the Popes and Councils, including the Council of Trent. Parts of the Book of Common Prayer were originally published precisely to contradict the teachings of the Council of Trent.

The Book of Common Prayer was edited for use as a Catholic liturgical prayerbook in 2003. The errors of doctrine were fixed. The revised book is called the “Book of Divine Worship” (this link takes a long time to load).

Apparently, a few Anglican-use Catholic parishes already use this revised prayerbook. Perhaps this version will be the book used in all Anglican-use churches.

…Last Sunday I published a silly little sermon about miracles. I tried explain that the Lord Jesus worked miracles not for the sake of working miracles, but for the sake of communicating the mystery of the Kingdom of God. In other words, His miracles were signs, as St. John called them in his gospel.

Anyway: St. Augustine explains this much better in the first part of his Sermon 98…

Tough loss for the Caps this evening. Bad news: After a fisticuffs, Ovechkin left the ice with an undisclosed “upper body” injury.

Philly Up, Philly Down!

This whole sad, sorry mess is not a local tale of a franchise gone rotten anymore; it’s national news, almost as depressing as the real world. —Mike Wise on last night’s Redskins loss

Fair amount of hype about both the Yankees and the Giants going to Philadelphia this Sunday, to play the Phillies and the Eagles, respectively.

We will see how things go. But how about this:

Few teams are more loathsome to a Washingtonian than the Iggles. For instance: the Flyers.

Yes, Philadelphia whupped us yesterday.

But the Caps whupped Philadelphia today!

Also, let’s look at the bright side: The Redskins scored more points last night than they have scored in a while…

Tuesday Evening Quarterback

I have been on a nice, long hot-air balloon ride. Just got back, and I found my computer under a basket in the attic…

I.
Let’s go back to the beginning of September:

The first part of the Redskins’ season was supposed to be easy.

After a near-certain loss to the Giants in the season-opener, it was supposed to be five gimmees before the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday, October 26.

Now the waning days of October are upon us. A whole lot of people are crooning the Redskins Blues.

But let us call to mind these words of our Lord:

Weep not for me but for your children. If this is what they do when the wood is green, what will they do when the wood is dry? (Luke 23:28,31)

Green wood (Weeks 2-6): Rams, Lions, Bucs, Panthers, and Chiefs
Dry wood (Wks 7-16): Eagles, Broncos, Cowboys, Saints, Giants, etc.

3-13 is a rosy scenario for this Redskins season. Pardon me while I get back in the balloon…

II.
The Lord Jesus helped us out by explaining life in His perspicacious parables.

For example: The one about how we are like servants awaiting our master’s return. Here is how it begins:

Gird your loins, and light your lamps, and be like servants who await their master’s return from a wedding, ready to open immediately when he comes and knocks. (Luke 12:35-36)

The Lord is urging us to be ready for the Final Reckoning, of course. But there is more.

I had always thought that the master could have been gone for any reason. Gone for a wedding, or gone fishing, or gone to find better football players on another continent, or gone on a weather-balloon ride–whatever. The point is that he is gone, and he could return anytime.

But of course it matters where he is. There are no throw-away lines in the parables of Christ.

The Master has gone to a wedding.

He took our human nature up to heaven. The angels rejoice. God has betrothed the human race to Himself. The Bridegroom stretched out His arms on the cross and won His Bride, and now the heavens are drunk with sober joy. They are dancing and singing the canticle which is too sublime for sound.

When He returns, He will be coming from the heavenly wedding banquet. He will bring the dew of angelic festivity with Him when He comes. He will be wearing the smile of the happy, chaste groom.

III.
A-Rod is OUT OF HIS MIND!!! (Click hot-link, and scroll down to 2009 post-season batting stats.)

Of the Weekend

The play of the weekend was A-Rod’s ninth-inning homer Friday night to tie Game 2.

The quote of the weekend was uttered by Larry Michael during the second quarter of this afternoon’s NFL game in North Carolina:

Carolina’s offense is the most inept we’ve seen, and we know ineptitude when we see it.

The melancholy moment of the weekend was when I ran down 33rd Street in Baltimore for the first time since 1995, and, intead of laying eyes on Memorial Stadium, I saw an unmowed field.

The history lesson of the weekend is:

In 1904, the first modern war broke out.

Russian and Japan fought over disputed territory. They used machine guns, mine fields, torpedoes, and telephone communications. All of the fighting took place in neutral territory, either in Korea or China.

It could have become a world war.

President Theodore Roosevelt had been in office for three years. He engineered the Treaty of Portsmouth, which brought the Russo-Japanese War to an end and led to forty years of peace between these two world powers.

In 1906, the year after the treaty was signed and the war ended, President Roosevelt was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Sicut Transit Gloria Mundi

Perhaps, dear reader, you remember that we have touched on our love for Michael Jackson before.

The album “Thriller” was fun in just about every way–all the songs were good, the videos were delightful, the Vincent-Price cameo was priceless.

“Human Nature” is on my iPod perennially. I liked the album “Bad,” too. “Man in the Mirror” was a great song.

Also, let’s not forget that M.J. was acquitted of all charges.

May the King of Pop rest in peace.

Speaking of death, today I drove past the one small piece of real estate I own.

It is only a few square feet.

But it will be more than big enough, when the time comes.

Act V, Scene 1 of Hamlet opens with two gravediggers joking with each other.

The one asks the other, “What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?”

The other replies, “The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.”

The other replies:

I like thy wit well, in good faith: the gallows
does well; but how does it well? it does well to
those that do ill: now thou dost ill to say the
gallows is built stronger than the church: argal,
the gallows may do well to thee. To’t again, come.

The second one can’t come up with another witty reply, so the first one says:

Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull
ass will not mend his pace with beating; and, when
you are asked this question next, say ‘a
grave-maker:’ the houses that he makes last till
doomsday.

The entire scene is very long. Here is the second part of it, worthily done by Kenneth Branaugh and our old buddy Billy Crystal, from the 1996 movie version.

Then, later on in the scene, my favorite phrase from all of Shakespeare makes its appearance. Laertes is bickering with the priest. Laertes thinks his sister Ophelia’s funeral has been too short.

Laertes. What ceremony else?

Priest. Her obsequies have been as far enlarg’d
As we have warranty. Her death was doubtful;
And, but that great command o’ersways the order,
She should in ground unsanctified have lodg’d
Till the last trumpet. For charitable prayers,
Shards, flints, and pebbles should be thrown on her.
Yet here she is allow’d her virgin rites,
Her maiden strewments, and the bringing home
Of bell and burial.

Laertes. Must there no more be done?

Priest. No more be done.
We should profane the service of the dead
To sing a requiem and such rest to her
As to peace-parted souls.

Laertes. Lay her i’ th’ earth;
And from her fair and unpolluted flesh
May violets spring! I tell thee, churlish priest,
A minist’ring angel shall my sister be
When thou liest howling.

“Churlish priest!” Maybe, after this Year of the Priest is over, we can have a Year of the Churlish Priest, and I will be the poster-child.

…P.S. How about our soccer team!

And the Natinals just shellacked the Red Sox! (Not that I am in favor of inter-league play.)

Monks and Drama in Vienna

Vienna, Austria

I am the proud owner of a small collection of nice vestments to wear for the sacred ceremonies of the Church.

For the past four years, I have also been the custodian of a much larger collection of fine vestments. It is actually TWO collections. Earlier in this unit decade of the twenty-first century, two of our Washington priests decided to resign their pastoral assignments and become monks.

Both of these priests own impressive collections of vestments. Both of them gave their collections to me for safe keeping. I am allowed to use them, and to loan them to other priests to use.

Someday, God forbid, one or both of these priests might decide that they want the vestments back. Please pray that this day never comes.

Both of these brother priests entered an Austrian monastery called Stift Klosterneuberg. Stift is the German word for monastery. Some of us refer to the place as Lobster Newberg.

Anyway, Klosterneuberg is located just outside Vienna.

I would like to do something special in honor of these dear monks, whose vestments I have in my (hopefully perpetual) care. So I am going to give you a profound and captivating essay on Shakespeare’s gripping play Measure for Measure, which is set in Vienna!

Klosterneuberg

The problem is that I do not have time right now to give you the entire essay. These things take hours. Also, I have not yet come up with the profound part or the captivating part.

Let us make a start nonetheless. Just in case you have not recently had a chance to review the play, I will begin by attempting to summarize the plot. Some of the speeches in the play are a little stilted and hard to follow. But the plot is intense–seriously intense.

As the play opens, Vienna has become a city of loose morals. The laws against prostitution have not been enforced for many years.

At this moment, the Duke of Vienna begins a series of strange maneuvers. Throughout the play, he does a number of inexplicable things, as we shall see.

The Duke summons his son Angelo, barely a grown man, and informs him that he is in charge of the city for the foreseeable future. The Duke claims that he MUST go elsewhere. Angelo protests, citing his lack of practical experience, but the Duke insists and leaves the city immediately.

lobster newberg

Soon we learn that a much-beloved young man of Vienna, Claudio, has been arrested because his fiancée Julietta is pregnant. The now-reigning Angelo intends to make an example of Claudio. Angelo applies the long-standing but never-enforced law against fornication to the case. Under the law, Claudio is subject to the death penalty. Angelo orders his execution.

Meanwhile, the Duke, continuing his inexplicable behavior, leads everyone to believe that he is in Poland. Secretly he takes the habit of a Franciscan and returns in this disguise to Vienna.

The condemned Claudio has a sister named Isabel, who is a postulant in a cloistered convent. (They were ALL cloistered back then. A postulant is a young woman preparing to enter the order, but who has not yet taken the full habit.) Claudio’s friend runs to her and begs her to go to Angelo to implore mercy for her brother.

Lucio begs Isabel to intervene for Claudio's life

Isabel appears before Angelo and entreats him to spare her condemned brother. At first the stern Angelo is adamant and immovable, but then he mellows and tells the lovely Isabel to come back the next day. After Isabel departs, Angelo admits in a private soliloquy that he is consumed with desire for her.

Ahh…is the plot not THICK?

Will the weak yet lovable Claudio be saved? Will the stern Angelo learn mercy? Will he learn to be human? Will Isabel enter the convent? Will she fall in love?

Can justice and mercy co-exist? Can the law prevent vice without crushing human nature?

Coming soon to Preacher and Big Daddy: Answers to all these questions and more! Stay tuned.

P.S. It is hard for me to get too fired-up about this World Series. Is anybody rooting for one of these teams?