I Have Always Hated…

DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER

I root for the Va. Tech Hokies, just like all God-fearing people.

The bad man announces the bad news.

…college football. Hated it. But now? Rage. Rage, wrath, fury. And more rage.

I have two good things in my little life.

God.

And Big East basketball.

Who could be surprised that Syracuse University would cast aside everything that is holy and good? Who could be amazed at such cretinous mutiny and faithlessness?

But to throw your lot in with such unspeakable villains? A conference made up mainly of teams from North Carolina, many of which simply cannot be named in decent company?

And for football? Who cares about Syracuse football?

Thanks for ruining college basketball. Thanks for ruining the one good thing left in the middle of the inanity of “March Madness.” (Big East tournament at Madison Square Garden). An ACC tournament at Madison Square Garden? What’s next, a gay ‘marriage’ between James Worthy and Fred Brown?

Listen: I will root for the Hoyas. I will root for the Hoyas if they just play St. John’s and Providence over and over again every season. I will root for the Hoyas if they join the Big 12 or the “Catholic League” or Woodrow Wilson’s League of Nations. I will root for the Georgetown Hoyas!!!

But, gosh, talk about a buzzkill: The ruination of one of the few truly excellent things on earth, Big East basketball. And for football. Football should be ashamed.

Please pray


…for the poor people of Rocky Mount, Virginia.

Flood? No. Earthquake? No. Boll-weevil swarm? No.

They will soon have a new priest living in their bucolic piedmont town. A tall geek you know.

…The Hoyas begin a long, hard Lent on Ash Wednesday. In order to win the Big East tournament, it will be necessary to beat UConn, then Pitt, then Syracuse (or St. John’s), then either Notre Dame, Louisville, or West Virginia–on four consecutive days in Madison Square Garden.

A Herculean feat. If they manage it, we can all take the rest of Lent off. (Kidding.)

After winning the Big East, the Hoyas will get to rest for two days before beginning the long march to Houston. But, seriously, you can have the NCAA tournament. All I care about is what happens in New York.

Except: Yes, I hate the North Carolina Tar Heels as much as any Hoyas fan should. But who could resist the Cinderella story of the 2010-11 UNC season? With demolishing Duke as the coup de grace?

It is almost enough to make a guy forget about the James Worthy thing forever.

…I never should have made fun of “The King’s Speech.” It is a beautiful movie. I cried like a woman through the whole thing.