Wait a Minute… (Plus: Good, Good News)

Wait just a second here, Divine Providence.

Are you trying to tell me that the conclave and the Big-East tournament will start on the same day?

Lord, are you trying to give me a heart attack?

…That said, we could wind up with a Jewish Pope next week for all I care, because:

The Big East HAS BEEN SAVED!!!!!

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From “Sports on Earth:”

[The Big East’s] backbone runs straight up and down I-95, as it should.

[Due to football-motivated conference aligment, disussed before HERE,] the Big East was in danger of becoming one of those great classic rock bands who lost the rights to its name because it fired the bass player who came up with the name. Georgetown-Villanova-Seton Hall-Providence deserved better than to become Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe.

The Big East is about East Coast city schools where basketball is king…They have the downtown, what’s-football vibe… The Catholic angle has always been the spice, not the stock. The Big East is a basketball conference for basketball schools and basketball fans, not a Frankenstein lumbering after football dollars.

So now the husk of football has been sloughed off. The Big East is a beautiful butterfly with a shaky jumper but sharp elbows again.

Two thoughts, perhaps not of equal importance, but both of profound significance:

1. May the Cardinals of the Holy Roman Church do the will of God.

2.

I Have Always Hated…

DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER

I root for the Va. Tech Hokies, just like all God-fearing people.

The bad man announces the bad news.

…college football. Hated it. But now? Rage. Rage, wrath, fury. And more rage.

I have two good things in my little life.

God.

And Big East basketball.

Who could be surprised that Syracuse University would cast aside everything that is holy and good? Who could be amazed at such cretinous mutiny and faithlessness?

But to throw your lot in with such unspeakable villains? A conference made up mainly of teams from North Carolina, many of which simply cannot be named in decent company?

And for football? Who cares about Syracuse football?

Thanks for ruining college basketball. Thanks for ruining the one good thing left in the middle of the inanity of “March Madness.” (Big East tournament at Madison Square Garden). An ACC tournament at Madison Square Garden? What’s next, a gay ‘marriage’ between James Worthy and Fred Brown?

Listen: I will root for the Hoyas. I will root for the Hoyas if they just play St. John’s and Providence over and over again every season. I will root for the Hoyas if they join the Big 12 or the “Catholic League” or Woodrow Wilson’s League of Nations. I will root for the Georgetown Hoyas!!!

But, gosh, talk about a buzzkill: The ruination of one of the few truly excellent things on earth, Big East basketball. And for football. Football should be ashamed.

THE Tournament

I despise the term “March Madness.”* It is imprecise.

You can have the NCAA tournament. You can have it.

Take it. Do your office pool. Throw a few bucks in the kitty. Take a lot of wild guesses. Give it your best shot.

The Big East tournament is where the real action is. Big Apple. Mid-town. Basketball nirvana.

Click HERE for the bracket. Go Georgetown!

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* “I hate the phrase, like I hate hell, all euphemisms, and Duke.”