10 Celibacy Pluses

wedding ringsI congratulate my dear brother Ben, who was married today to lovely Jenna. I wish them every happiness. But the occasion moves me to recount some reasons why I love my celibate life…

1. Considerably more time for reading.

2. I can sing as loud as I want in the car, and no one minds.

3. Every time a baby has vomited sputum on my shoulder, or gone to the bathroom in my arms, I have gotten huge credit for being a stand-up guy. Absolutely every time.

4. No chance that any child of mine will ever go to Duke or UConn, or grow up and marry a Cowboys fan.

5. Whenever I go to a meeting in the principal’s office, it’s the principal who’s in trouble.

6. Considerably more time for reading.

7. The people who get disappointed in me because I’m a goofball rarely have an opportunity to let me know.

8. Whenever someone in the house yells at the dishes in the sink, I am never in the dark as to what happened to cause this.

9. No father-in-law gives me weird looks while I read a Jane Austen novel during commercial breaks in Thanksgiving football.

10. Sure, I have a hundred times more people who expect me to read their minds on a daily basis. But I don’t have to share a bathroom with any of them.


Happy Thanksgiving! May the good Lord bless us all, in our particular states of life.

6 thoughts on “10 Celibacy Pluses

  1. Heartfelt congratulations to Ben and Jenna! May God bless their life together with great abundance!

  2. 11. You can say Mass on Thanksgiving; sharing the joy of praising the Lord with us who have so much to be thankful for.

  3. Father Mark,

    12. You get to hold forth in a blog; and no one never ever dares say no to your views.

    Happy, happy Thanksgiving!

    In God we trust.



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